Tears of Shadow
by PainofDarkness
Summary: MalikxRyou, MalikxBakura, yaoi, Ryou and Malik finally share their passion together, and Ryou has never been happier. But can their relationship be more than physical when past differences arise?
1. Those Familiar Eyes

---------**Chapter 1---------**

Those familiar eyes… 

Rain drizzled down the cool windowpane as I stared distantly toward it, tapping my pencil in boredom to the droning of voices in the background.  I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh of exasperation.  '_I wish I wasn't here,'  _I thought.  '_Why am I here anyway?  There's nothing here for me.  I have no future.  I have no life.  I should be dead.  It'd be better that way.  No one would notice anyway.  Just one more pointless life being taken away.  It wouldn't matter.  I don't matter.'_

            "Ryou," the teacher said in a disapproving voice.  "What's the answer?"  I looked down at my feet miserably.  I hadn't been paying attention at all.  My grades were going down the drain, and I hardly ever paid attention in class anymore.  All of the teachers thought I had a learning disorder, because I had no friends, and I didn't care about school.  They sent me to counseling, but the counselor could find nothing wrong with my intelligence.  She just wrote my behavior off as seeking attention by acting stupid in class, and that was it.  

  I was always the shy one in class, never talking, never knowing the answers, never good at anything.  Everyone kept their distance from me, but I didn't care.  I was used to being treated like that.  

"I dunno," I answered honestly, while some people whispered and quietly laughed at me, like I didn't notice.  Anger stirred within me that had been sitting for quite awhile.  I was used to directing all my anger, my sadness, my darkness at me, because that was all I could do. . . But with Bakura gone, it was different.  '_Now, I don't know what to do with my emotions, because I don't need to target them at myself anymore._  _Then it's the world that should bear my emotions,'  _I thought.  

"Do you honestly think I can't hear what you say about me?!" I shouted at a group of girls saying what a dunce I was.  The girls fell silent, and the teacher snapped back at me. "Ryou, please take your seat.  If you're going to be a class disruption, then leave." 

I sat back down, and looked out the window again. '_Yelling didn't help at all.  I feel like I have a hole inside of me that can't be filled.  An endless hole._  _I'm angry, and sad, and confused all at once._  _I don't even know what I am anymore.  I should be happy. That is how you're supposed to feel, right?  But_…_I don't even know what that's like.  How do I become happy if I don't even know what it is?'  _

A pair of light lavender eyes stared back at me in the window.   A boy.   '_He looks around my age.  He looks so familiar_…_but_…_Where have I seen those eyes?  That flaxen colored hair_…_I feel like I know him somehow, but I've never seen him.  How can that be?'   _The boy had Egyptian eyes, so much like Bakura's, yet with a light in them instead of darkness.  His light blonde hair swayed with his gold earrings, catching the reflection of the sun rising from the darkened skies.  He closed his eyes, relaxing against the courtyard wall, arms across his chest in a carefree air.  

"One more warning, and I'm sending you to the principal Ryou.  You need to concentrate." I nodded and turned, glancing back out the window.   He was gone. 

-----Reflections-----

Just an introduction so far.  This is my first time writing a yaoi so tell me what you think.  I had originally written this story in my usual context, but the wondrous floppy disk I saved it on got erased, so I rewrote it, and put so much more emotion into it that it almost seems like a different story.  But I like it this way, even though it is quite a bit more depressing, I really think that it's a better portrayal of Ryou this way.  People may not really like to think him a depressive person who has lost his way, but in truth, that's what he is.  He's lived in darkness for years, never being able to make friends, or see any light of hope.  Imagine what that does to your mind, your soul.  I wanted to bring that aspect out through his prospective so people could see the world through Ryou's eyes.  And though the first chappies may seem dark and sad at first, it will get brighter and have some action later on (like chapter 4).  You can count on it.  ^_^


	2. My pain, my suffering, my troubles

------Chapter 2------ My pain. . .my suffering. . .my troubles. . . 

            The bell rung the sweetest note as school was dismissed, and I walked swiftly out of the classroom into the damp courtyard, puddles of water sparkling in the light.  "I can't feel the sun," I said sadly to myself.  The sun shone brightly, yet I felt no warmth or happiness from it.  The only thing I felt was the misery of the gloomy clouds above, promising the rain of sadness.  

            Watching the other kids didn't help either.  They were talking, gossiping, and having fun with their friends.  It only reminded me of Yugi, and his friends, the friends I could have had, if it weren't for Bakura.  He had threatened me that if I made friends, he would kill them.  I knew what he was capable of.  He beat me everyday, sometimes almost to death.  I had to wear long sleeves and pants in summer to cover up my bruises and wait for broken bones to painfully heal without a cast.  I couldn't let that happen to Yugi or Tea or anyone else.  So I kept to myself.  '_My pain_. . ._my suffering_. . ._my troubles_. . ._' _

"Good afternoon, working the late shift tonight Ryou?  I need someone to fill in for Anita," my manager said as I entered the grocery store, and tied my blue apron on.  

            "Sure," I replied, not having anything else to look forward to.  He smiled a boyishly joyful smile that I despised so much, that I envied.  "Great.  We just got some new orders in, and I'll need you to shelve 'em in the back.  Also, you'll need to clean up on of the aisles.  A package of grapes spilled back there."  I rolled my eyes, and under my breath said, "Great, just what I need."  

            "What was that?" the manager asked.  I lied, "Nothing, I'll be right on it."  I wore my false smile of reassurance, and he bought it.  I was used to lying.  That was how I learned to live most of my life, so it came naturally to me… as natural as a normal person hugging their mother or father, something I never received.  

            Instead of shelving the items or cleaning up the spilt grapes, I sat on one of the massive shelves, dangling my feet below me in silence.  '_If I climbed up to the top I could jump.  Then it would be all over.  My sadness gone.  I could escape everything.  It would be the easy way out…but…is that what I want?'  _

            I was so caught up in my own thoughts I hadn't even noticed the entry of a large group of men and someone they were chasing.   It was a boy.   '_The boy I saw earlier today_,' I recognized.  The boy entered my alley, pulled me off of the shelves and without a word, covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream.  But I didn't anyway.  If he was going to kill me, then I wouldn't object.  His eyes narrowed suspiciously among the shelves, watching the men warily.  "Follow me, and don't say a word," he commanded.  He took out a millennium item from his back pocket, and I acknowledged it as the millennium rod.            

I followed him, aisle after aisle, and finally, he stayed in one place, and used his item on the men.  The eye of it glowed blood red, and I watched in interest as one of the men spoke with a distant voice, "He's not here.  That boy's escaped us again.  Dammit!  Come on, we'll check the other warehouses. He can't be that far…"

We waited…for what seemed like an eternity, and the boy finally rose, signaling me to follow him, and I did.  I had no choice.  He had a millennium item, and I had experienced the power of what they could do firsthand.  I wasn't willing to let it happen again.  Fear gripped my stomach and turned it upside down.  Just the thought of any sort of millennium item invoked such horror inside me that I wanted to scream out for help.  It made me feel trapped with no way out.  I hated it.  I loathed it.  For it was the same feeling Bakura had given me everyday when he was about to trap me inside the ring and beat me.

By the time we came outside, it was dark with the smell of rain and the prophecy of thunder.  We walked down alley after alley, all without any kind of light except for the thin crescent of moon in the sky.  The boy seemed to know every path very well though, so I kept close, not wishing to get lost in such a bad part of the city, known to many gangs and drugs.  We stopped at a broken down office building, and he jiggled a key in the rusty doorknob.  I coughed as my footsteps stirred dust with every step further inside.  It had been abandoned for many years by the looks of the old furniture, boarded up windows, and dust that clothed the barren atmosphere.  The room was practically bare except for a single desk and chair, and a moth-eaten oriental rug that lay before it.  There was no one around to hear.  Not even a cricket chirp filled the air, and I realized what the boy was planning.  

"Are you going to kill me?" My voice shook.  He looked at me, carefully analyzing my question.  "You are safe…for now."  His voice wasn't at all reassuring.  He lifted up the oriental rug, and dropped down a hole, just big enough to fit a slender figure inside.  "Follow me," his voice echoed from down below.  I jumped down obediently and did as he ordered.  I wanted to ask so many questions, but my throat was constrained from my nervousness.

"Watch your head, and stay close by. There are many traps.  See those axes up ahead?" I looked up above and witnessed the dull glimmer of at least twenty axes.  '_Why does he have traps set here?  Is he worried that the police might come and get me?  He doesn't have anything to worry about in that case.  No one would bother to tip off the police anyway.  No one cares.'  _We walked down the winding stairs that lead off to many different paths.  I tried to keep track in my head which direction we took, but I gave up after about twenty turns.  At the end, we came to a wooden door, and the boy knocked a certain rhythm upon its surface.  A man greeted us with a bow, and we walked into the main entry dining hall, then to a chamber, which I assumed was the boy's.  His couch was woven in red velvet, laced in gold.  Covering his walls were numerous papyrus scrolls of hieroglyphs.  In all four corners of the room were golden Egyptian cats, encrusted with red sapphire eyes, and his canopy bed was made up of beautifully silken amethyst sheets, a gold frame, and sheer red and gold sheets intertwined with the gold frame above his bed.  It was a breathtaking sight that erased all the troubles from my mind until the boy spoke.  "This is my chamber, but you are welcome to sleep on the bed, Ryou.  I will sleep on the couch."

"How do you know my name?"  I asked.  

"Bakura," he answered as if it was obvious.  "Don't you know who I am?"

"I…you do look familiar, but I…can't remember…" I responded in truth.  His eyes grew surprised, but then he smiled, a friendly, knowing smile.  A smile that rung with gladness and comfort.  It soothed my heart to see it, unlike so many other grins that I had seen before, ones that showed nothing but a temporary glee.  Even after his smile was gone, his eyes still held that comfort and knowingness.  He laughed softly, "So Bakura erased your memory…seems like something he'd do."  My voice trembled, "S-so, you knew Ba-bakura?"  

"Yes, I did."  He expression was blank, as if trying to hide something.  He touched my face warmly, and raised my head eye level to his so that I had to look into his eyes.  He must have seen the hurt in them, the pain of my past, because his expression changed to empathy.  "He hurt you, didn't he?"

I closed my eyes, forcing the tears back and looked away.  He looked at me with a sad smile.  "It's okay to cry…you have every right too…it's okay to let your emotions out Ryou…" Tears streamed from my eyes like the rain of sadness, all my suffering pouring out to this stranger who I didn't even know the name of.  For the first time in my life, I could let everything go.  '_Yes, this is what I truly wanted.  I never truly wanted to die.  I only wanted to let all the poisons in my mind to leave.  My pain_. . ._my suffering_. .._my troubles_. . .'__

-----Reflections----

*sniffle, sniffle*  I've got to stop cutting onions when I write this stuff. ; )  Anyway, kind of sad but weird at the same time, huh?  But, it is the perfect beginning to a dark plot, full of passion, dark secrets (ooo, juicy!), and betrayal.  And possibly some other characters may step in along the way…so fasten your seat belts.  It's going to be a very bumpy ride.  

Also, if you're wondering where Bakura or Marik went. . .Marik is still sealed in Malik (as of now….he he he), and Bakura….well later on, the story will tell you what happened to him.  


	3. Mysterious boy, Malik

------Chapter 3----- 

**The Mysterious Boy, Malik**

            "Good morning," the boy murmured from his desk, as I awoke, feeling the best I had been feeling in years.  I felt like I had lost at least twenty pounds of damaging emotions that had burdened my shoulders for as long as I could remember.  "Um…sir?" I inquired.  The boy laughed and turned to me. "Sorry, I haven't even told you my name yet.  It's Malik, Malik Ishtar." The name struck a chord of memory in me, yet I could still not recall whom exactly he was.  

            "Err, okay, Malik, why am I here?" His expression was hard but undetermined, as if trying to find the answer himself.  "…Your presence will become clear later on.  Any other questions?"

            "Yes.  How well did you know Bakura?  Were you friends or enemies or what?"  This was the question I feared.  If he had known Bakura and was a friend of his, then I knew he could not be trusted, by any means.  

            "I guess you could consider us friends," Malik replied, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  My stomach dropped. "G-good friends?"  He avoided my eyes, but beamed as if reminiscing something wonderful. "Yes.  We were."  _'What is he hiding?' _ I asked myself.   I didn't dare ask him aloud though.  Maybe I didn't want to know what he and Bakura did.  Probably killed many people or did sinister things together, considering Bakura's personality, but was Malik that way too?  Was he as evil or sadistic?  

            "How long are you planning on keeping me here?"  I queried awkwardly.  

            "Depends…on when I feel like killing you…" He wore a completely straight face, and my eyes grew frightened until he laughed.  "I'm just kidding, Ryou."   _'Well, he definitely has a sadistic humor,' _I thought to myself (- _-;).

            "You won't be harmed as long as you're with me, so don't worry.  I'm not going to kill you. Trust me," he put a hand on mine in a warm gesture, staring into my eyes pleadingly. "That is all I ask of you."  I breathed deeply, not knowing what to do.  Here was my kidnapper, friend of the most malevolent person in the world, and he was asking me for trust?  He saw the hesitance in my eyes and told me, "You can hate me. You can despise every breath I take, every moment I live, but I ask you to trust me.  Can you do that?"  

            " I… I suppose I c-could try…but…that's all I can promise."   He grinned. "That's good enough for me.  Anything else you want to know?"

            "Who were those men?  The ones chasing you." 

            "Ah, that was the Raefe's gang.  They're thieves, and they're after my millennium rod as well as all the other items," Malik shook his head.  "Such fools would reign chaos with a power they can't even begin to understand."

            "Is that why you have so many traps and passageways?" Malik nodded, "They're not the only ones after it, so you can never be too careful.  When I arrived at this city, I had my rare hunters, the people you see walking around here serving me, dig out this and create something that reminded me of my home in Egypt and could protect me from anything."

            "I---" I started, but was interrupted as a rare hunter came into Malik's chamber.  "Malik-sama," he bowed, "Forgive me for intruding, but Raefe and his men are near.  I suggest you lead them off."  Malik glanced at me, "Come with me."

----Reflections----

Oooo, I just can't wait to post the next chappie!  This was just kind of a boring one, full of the who/what/when/how stuff.  Hey, I had to put it in somewhere so I tried to make it as interesting as possible, but talking gets boring fast.  That's why in my next couple chapters, there's very little in it. He he.  Please review the chapters so far, so I know what you all you peoples out there think about it, and I can continue!   


	4. Kiss of Silence

Chapter 4 The Kiss of Silence 

            "Where are we going?" I panted as we ran down alley after alley.  "Shh," he warned. "Don't say a word, unless you are spoken to.  We must get them away from here so they don't discover my location."

            Overhead, the crack of thunder sounded in the gray sky that covered the sun.  We arrived at an old parking lot, surrounded by the intimidating men.  

            "Hand over the millennium rod, or face the consequences," the leader, who I assumed was Raefe, said in a menacing tone.  His men cracked their knuckles threateningly.  

            "No," Malik challenged, just as equally threatening. _'Is he trying to get us killed?  What is he thinking?'_  I thought to myself.  

            "Do you think we're kidding around?" Raefe pulled out a burnished black gun from his trench coat, as his men followed suit.  '_My gods, I don't want to die.  Please don't let this be the end.  Please, no.  I can't die.  I don't want to die yet!'  _I thought desperately.  Malik stood completely still with a grim expression on his face, and in his eyes was a glint of what appeared to be ridicule.  With a flash of gold, he held the millennium dagger against my throat.  

            "Shoot and this boy dies," Malik retorted with complete seriousness.  _'Malik, what are you doing?!'_ I cried out in my mind.  My breath strained as the dagger pressed hard against my throat.  This was the end. . .

            "Shoot him dead!" Raefe ordered angrily.  The men hesitated.  "But sir," one of them spoke, "I think he's serious!  That guy's psycho!"

            "I would be wary if I were you," Malik warned, but somehow did not seem as confident as he did before.  "You thieves have not committed such a heinous crime as murder before.  Do you really want to stain your hands in blood?  ….And innocent blood at that…" He added, looking at me.  "If the police caught you, you wouldn't be charged with only a petty crime of stealing.  You would be put to death for your actions.  Are you really willing to risk everything for your leader?  Even if that means your life?  Is that really worth it?"  The men glanced uncomfortably between each other, which enraged Raefe even further. 

            "Fools!  Don't listen to such nonsense!  With that rod, we'll be unstoppable!  The police won't stand a chance against us.  Now kill both of them, now!" One of the men trembled as he cocked his gun, shaking it in terror, unable to pull the trigger.  

            "Dammit, forget it!  I'll do it myself!" Raefe growled furiously as he ripped the gun from the man's hands a

nd pointed it toward Malik.  Malik looked at me with wide frightful eyes and quickly tried to assemble it back together to mind control Raefe, but in an instant, I saw a speeding silver blur out of the corner of my eye.  I did what came to my mind first, and threw myself on Malik, pinning him to the ground (we didn't see that one comin'! ^_^) as the bullet whirred above me, so close, it rustled my hair as it flew past.  

            I stared into Malik's eyes, lavender pools of shock and surprise, but there was also something else. . .something that I couldn't quite name, something I had never seen before in another's eyes.  We gazed at each other, and time seemed to stop.  Our breath mingled, my lips hovering above his, my mind lost in a turbulence of emotion.  

            "Get them, or I'll kill you all!" Screamed Raefe, followed by a chain of shots in our direction.  Our eyes broke away from each other, and we ran for dear life.  Entering the darkened passages, Malik pulled me into a side alley to quickly get us out of sight. My heart beat furiously in my chest as I leaned against the wall for support.  

            "Are. . .they gone?" I gasped out loud.  Malik's lips silenced my own, their tender touch bringing chills to my body.  I embraced the kiss, wrapping my arms around the small of his back, and letting the pure ecstasy fill my senses with passion.  

Overhead, the gloomy sky was brightened by the sun piercing through its dark sheen of sadness and for the first time, I could feel its warmth and happiness.  

            "I heard one of them! Over here Raefe!"  One of the thieves shouted as they ran past our figures cloaked in darkness.  Our lips parted, and I let out a soft moan, not wanting the happiness to leave me. 

            "Let's go Ryou.  It's getting late," Malik whispered as his breath rose in the chilling air of upcoming evening.  I nodded and followed him, watching the sunset in the distance with a distant smile, a smile of hope.  


	5. Heated Passion

**Chapter 5**

**Heated Passion**

**WARNING:** Please **DO NOT** read if you dislike lemon or yaoi!!! ¡¡¡Por favor no lees si no te gusta historias límons o yaoi!!! There, not even Spanish people can deny that I did not warn them! But really peoples, this chappie isn't for the fluffy at heart.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We walked into Malik's chamber in silence, as Malik plopped himself onto the bed, letting out an exhausted sigh. I bit my lip nervously and felt a pang of embarrassment. "M-Malik?" I asked uncertainly, "Why did you kiss me?"

I could have sworn a slight flicker of a smile passed over his face, but it was gone so quickly that I thought I had must have imagined it. "To hush you, of course," he answered nonchalantly, staring at the ceiling, apparently working hard at keeping a blank expression engraved on his face.

"Tell me Malik, you told me to trust you, but how am I supposed to trust a liar?" I replied in fury, but as soon as those waves of lavender heaven met my own, the anger died away immediately. He sat up and smiled with a twinkle of challenge, "Well, why don't you tell me why you saved my life?" He walked toward me, and I immediately backed away, causing him to stop. My years with Bakura had taught me never to trust anyone approaching you.

"I...I don't know...it was instinct." Feeling extremely out of place and panicked, my eyes darted to the ground. How could I explain how I felt...he could never understand what it was like, when I was near him. All the pain my yami had left behind seemed to disappear when Malik was near...and his eyes brought such comfort and empathy, as if he knew my own agony.

He laughed, recognizing my lie, and his eyes were full of meaningfulness. "Let me ask you another question, maybe this one will be easier for you to answer." His voice softly broke through my thoughts as he rose and moved toward me. I backed away again, but suddenly found my back against the wall. With nowhere to go, I remained silent until he stood before me. My head turned away, as my eyes remained glued on the ground, flinching, waiting for pain. But he didn't hit me. Instead, his hand gently lifted my head, his amethyst eyes filled with emotion as they caught my gaze, causing me to blush and my heart beat wildly.

"What would you do...if I kissed you again?" My eyes widened as his lips met mine with a fierce compassion that I had never experienced before. Pinning me harder against the wall, with his arms around me, he deepened the kiss, and I suddenly found that I didn't want him to stop. I pulled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder as his lips caressed my neck, hands tousling my hair.

I pushed him back toward the bed, into the cool satin sheets as our kisses became more and more heated. The breath of sweat and passion intermingled with the each other and my kisses became more rushed. I hurriedly loosened the gold chains of his shirt, but he overturned me and smirked. "Now it's my turn to have a little fun..."

I couldn't help the soft whimper that rose from my as he slipped his hands up my shirt, his tongue gently stroking down my neck. He took no pity of my shivers, and pressed me further down, until finally I couldn't handle the restraint, biting his shoulder as softly as I could.

He gave out a low moan at my bite, "Harder Ryou. Harder." I remained motionless for a moment, but as he roughly unbuckled my pants, I found myself biting his neck, alternating between gentle and hard sucking as kicks of satisfaction pulsed through my body. My arms pressed upon Malik's back, moved down and shook in excitement as his pants slipped off, our bare bodies rubbing against each other with moans of pleasure satiating the room in fervor. 

"Brace yourself," he smirked, licking his lips in enjoyment. He forced me down on all fours, and I cried out in pain as he slipped inside me, thrusting abrasively in and out. He let off a bit upon hearing my groans, as pleasure filled my body like never before. With each thrust, a thrill of undying desire and adrenaline coursed through my veins like a herd of black stallions racing through the night for the first time, their manes flying freely, disappearing into the dark desire of the night sky. Moans of ecstasy escaped my lips as our bodies moved in unison getting increasingly faster and harder, until I couldn't take it anymore. I let out an aching sigh for him to stop, but he sneered tauntingly, "Oh it's far from over Ryou ...the pain and pleasure have only just begun."

His thrusts slowed down more, causing each one to be more intensely pleasurable and painful than the one before it. I inhaled deeply, fighting for breath as my body screamed out in agony and bliss until black dots danced around my vision. I shouted aloud in anguish, half-wanting him to stop. I moaned as he gave a final thrust, the most agonizing and pleasurable of all, and collapsed onto the bed in his arms, both of our hearts racing in unison against each other.

I grinned at him gratefully, breathing heavily against his moist slender neck. _'So this is what true happiness feels like...'_ I thought to myself. I felt a light kiss on my forehead, and smiled up at Malik as he returned a weary one. He closed his eyes, and I moved closer to his body, whispering softly, "Thank you."

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::winces:: I really hope some of you don't hate me for writing that. I was wondering if I should even post this chapter, because some of my reviewers put stuff like, "Oh this is so cute", and I hoped desperately they weren't like those anti-hardcore yaoi people or anything.

Anyway, how did I do? This was my first yaoi scene I had ever written, and I was very proud of it for the first time and all. And yes, this story will have a plot line and plot twists, but scenes like this won't get this detailed until the end...and who says Ryou gets to have all the fun with Malik in this story? Well I have to go now; I've said too much already. And btw, the anime expo. was a blast! I went as Malik, and people just randomly came up and hugged me. lol So much fun! Sayonara for now!

P.S. I've never done this with any of my other stories, but I thought I could give it a try to make the story line thicker. I'm accepting any suggestions you guys have to offer, but I can't take them if they interfere with the ending of my story which I've already written (I write everything out of order if ur wondering, lol). You can talk to me on my aim sn: **naturapuella27**, or simply put it in your review if you want.


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